Genesis Concert

Last Saturday, my wife and I saw Genesis in concert at the Hollywood Bowl. I've never really considered myself a fan, but my wife loves them, so I bought tickets for her birthday.

They sounded great in concert, and we both had a lot of fun. It was my first time at the Bowl, and it was much larger than I had imagined.

They had this one song called "In The Cage", and during the entire song, there was a 50' tall graphic of a human figure on the screen behind the band. The figure was running, towards the camera, away from the camera, and at angles to the camera, and there was a red grid in the background representing 'the cage'. At one point as the music crescendos, this giant figure shatters as it runs into the wall of the "cage". The shattered figure ends up being propelled outside of the cage, representing the person finally escaping to the outside.

There is a point to this.

I was seriously tripping out on this figure. I couldn't take my eyes off the fucking thing. Added to this was the fact that the crowd had already begun lighting up joints. The smell was everywhere.

Now, I haven't done any type of drugs since 1997. I personally have no need for them, and additionally my job screens its employees for drug use every 5 years or so.

The italicized part of that sentence is critical, and really is what I'm writing about.

I fully realized my Atheism last year, throwing away my God security-blanket after about 6 years of Agnosticism. Since then, I've noticed a distinct change in the way that I view life. In fact, I'm noticing that my outlook seems to change for the better every day. The one key theme in my changing outlook is that I have an urge to live my life. A by-product of this urge is the fact that I seriously dislike my job. I don't enjoy limits on my freedom, and part of my job requires that my freedom to live life be infringed upon. However, it's paid the bills for seven years and so for now, it must be.

But is it right that I should limit my life because of my job? At the Genesis concert, had I wanted to hit a joint, would it have been wrong for me to do so? I mean, I'm not smoking crack. I'm not shooting heroin, or dropping LSD. Smoking a joint at a Genesis concert is not going to affect my performance at work, it's not going to compromise my integrity, it's not going to negatively impact my life. One could even make the case that it would positively impact my life, if you consider the fact that I wouldn't be bitching about it on this blog.

I understand my employer screening people, and it is definitely within their rights to do so. That doesn't change my perspective on my own life, however. It doesn't change my desire to live my life as fully as possible, knowing that my existence is not forever. It doesn't change the fact that my job, which I dislike immensely, is dictating how I live. In the grand scheme of things, is the money gained from working more valuable than the experiences never enjoyed?

Phil Collins stated that last Saturday was the last show, of their last tour, since they're all getting old. My opportunity to see that running image will never happen again during my lifetime. It's interesting that my memory of the runner will be forever married to my thoughts of being like him, trapped inside a system of living that won't allow me to live.

I love my life, and I'm just now learning how to live it. It will certainly be an interesting ride.