Matthew 24:34
"Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place."

April 4, 2009

Is God gay?

Had a little chat with God the other day through the website

My suspicions about the Christian God are now confirmed true. God is a homosexual. Read below for the proof.

Me: Hi handsome

God: Hi there . And very self-confident.

Me: I usually am when I'm behind a computer and naked.

God: How often do you? Do you mind if I tell other people you are when you are
behind a computer and naked. ?

Me: I'd actually love it if you did, the more the better.

God: What would make you actually love it if me did the more the better?

Me: Oh I don't know, the thought of you all sitting there...thinking of me...

God: Next question? Would you like to know? Do you think about these things a lot? You are asking about yourself?

Me: I actually do. I've been diagnosed as a chronic masturbator by two different psychiatrists.

God: Do I? Where were you diagnosed as a chronic masturbator by two different psychiatrists?

Me: In grade school.

God: Tell me a little about your life in grade school.

Me: Well, let's see, it's basically just chock full of tissues and SI Swimsuit Editions.

God: How about that. That sounds good to me.

Me: Hmmm, this could be the start of something interesting...

God: Whoa. What does "this" refer to?

Me: I don't know...I was thinking you, me, maybe a bottle of wine and some music. Do you like Mike Bolton?

God: How do I know that you were really "thinking"? But I think airplanes are cool. I like the Bible.

Me: What are you wearing?

God: A white robe.

Me: Anything underneath that robe?

God: I can't think of anything. You think of something.

Me: kinky, very kinky...I like your style...

God: How old are you? You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my style.

Me: Whoa, my boss is coming, gotta go!

God: Are we still talking about kinky very kinky?
The hatred of gays in the bible, all the fashion and behavior requirements for women, the sex all makes sense now. God is gay.