Here's one that he sent me earlier this week:
I LOVE THIS MAN
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE
If you love this man please forward to 10 people.
He did something for you, now do something for him.
Spread his word, and you'll be rewarded.
How will you be rewarded?
Matthew 10:32 'Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My Father in heaven. But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven
God is going to shift things around for you tonight & let things work in your favor. If you believe, send this to ten people. Do not ignore him. You must have unwavering faith
The faulty analogy dies out right at the beginning. If we add Jesus to the analogy as our dim-witted Christian intends, it looks like this:
"Nobody falls into love with Jesus by choice, it is by chance."
In Christianity, you must choose Jesus. If you do not consciously choose Jesus, you will perish with all the other cool people in Hell. Thus, this analogy is fucked.
As we proceed down the email, we see a picture of Jesus (whose body is completely hairless, which I find hard to believe). We also encounter font color and size changes, which raise the irritation level even more. Christian craziness is at it's peak here. We have a bold statement of love for Jesus, followed by the guilt-trip inducing "He did something for you, now you do something for Him". Next we have a promise of something intangible for our efforts, a little bit of scripture to really stoke the fires, and finally we end with some Christian "Feel Great" smooth-talking, letting you know that God is gonna "get things working right for you again".
Do people really have that many problems in their lives? If someone told me that "God could get things working well for me again", I would laugh and ask them what it is exactly that I need help with. Perhaps the only people who need help are Christians?
Honestly, I would much rather have daily spam emails telling me that Bill Gates is giving me cash, or that a girl in Africa needs money for polio crutches...at least the people making that shit up aren't telling me how to live my life. Unfortunately, until people begin taking Christians to task on their beliefs and challenging them, we all will be forced to live by their rules and accept these emails with a whimper.